Few Things to Keep in Mind before Tying the Knot
Marriage is a big event in life.
It brings big changes into one’s life. Post-marital life and pre-marital life are starkly different. Understand the differences, understand the realities of married life before tying the knot.
Here’s everything you need to know:
A lot depends on how you communicate with your partner. Wrong communication often leads to problems that can be easily avoided. According to experts, communication alone is indicative of the future of a marriage. Yet, many married couple underestimate it.
Meaningful communication is possible when you and your spouse are supportive to each other. You must know what emotionally impacts your spouse, what they find stressful, what they like and dislike. If you couldn’t connect to your partner, you couldn’t communicate.
Hollering at your spouse is an example of poor communication skills. You could get your point across without having to scream. Remember, the purpose of communication is to deliver a message. If your tone and gesture tick your spouse off, an invisible barrier between you two would be created, forever disabling communication.
Don’t want that? Then work on your communication skills.
How to handle responsibilities
With marriage comes responsibilities. Some are so scared of them that they either postpone marriage or avoid it altogether. It’s foolish of them because responsibilities are a part and parcel of life and avoiding them completely is impossible.
A successful marriage is one where both husband and wife know how to handle their responsibilities. They don’t compete with each other, they don’t fight over trivial things. They understand their roles and distribute responsibilities evenly.
For example, a husband cannot expect his wife to handle cooking, cleaning, house decoration and all other domestic chores. He should chip in and help her, so that she doesn’t get overly stressed. Similarly, wife cannot have the queen bee syndrome and expect her husband to be the sole financial provider. She should also provide financial assistance, as much as she can.
Plan your future ahead
Future is unknown. We don’t know what’s ahead of us. However, we can anticipate the future and be prepared…to face the worst and to relish the best.
When you are single, planning for the future is optional. But when married, it’s essential. Plan your future with your spouse lest the difficulties ahead. The initial years of marriage are all fun and games, during these times many newlywed couples spend so recklessly – to show off to their friends and family – that they later regret.
Remember, financial problems could cause the marriage to fall apart. It happened to a lot of people and it could happen to you. So once you marry, plan your future with your spouse and stick to the plan.
Have realistic expectations
Marriage is not a disney movie. So have realistic goals and expectations. If you are curious what makes an expectation realistic, here’s a checklist:
- Expect your spouse to listen to you. But also expect them to counter you.
- Expect your spouse to have trust on you. But don’t give them reasons to distrust you.
- Love your spouse and expect them to love you back.
- Expect your spouse to have your back and do the same in return.
What goes around comes around. This mantra holds true in all walks of life, including marriage. Treat your spouse with respect, have trust on them, take care of them and be with them when they need you the most. And expect the same from them.
Give each other space
Newlyweds are so much into each other that they literally live the idiom – two bodies, one soul. Sounds romantic as an idea but not in practice. Intimacy is good but too much intimacy is not. One might feel smothered and grow distant from the other.
All kinds of relationships need space. So give your spouse personal space. It’s nice to have a concerned partner, but an overbearing one brings constant bickering into the relationship. Understand that your spouse may have different ambitions, career goals and hobbies. If you constantly meddle into these areas, they may start to resent you.
Kids add meaning to marriage. Yes, there are married couples without kids – some by choice, some by happenstance – and people with kids who never married. However, most people think of having kids when they tie the knot.
Raising kids is fun as well as burdensome. Kids are not adults, there’s no end to their demands. Caving in to their demands could spoil them, on the other hand, not fulfilling the demands could hurt them emotionally, not desirable at early stages of development.
To raise kids, couples have to make a lot of sacrifices. To be good parents, they must love their kids unconditionally and be responsible for the child’s physical and mental well-being. There’s always the possibility of misunderstanding unless they are totally into each other.
Approach with caution
The discussion here helps you get a fair glimpse of what marriage is like. Assuming you are not married yet, you could take time to decide whether to get married or stay single.
And if you decide to go for it, just keep everything discussed here in mind.