6 Reasons for Being Turned Down For Sex


If you’re constantly turned down for sex you probably think the problem is in you and your partner simply doesn’t want to have sex with you. However, in most cases, the problem is the partner itself and there is a wide range of reasons you are turned down for sex and this article will reveal the most common ones.

  1. Depression

Both men and women can suffer from depression which, in some cases, leads to low libido. However, this problem is more common in men and teenagers, than in women. Most men experience low sex drive when they’re dealing with depression at the same time. It is because mental condition affects all aspects of our life, including sex life. According to therapist David McKenzie depression is one of the biggest killers of sex life in relationships.


WHAT YOU CAN DO: the key here is the patience and making sure you’re there for your partner who is particularly vulnerable when suffering from depression.

  1. Low self-esteem

Person’s sex drive depends on their confidence too. When the person isn’t confident, then it’s less likely they will take their clothes off and have sex. This usually happens to women who feel subconscious about their body, especially after giving birth or gained a few pounds, but men are prone to low self-esteem as well. For example, if a guy puts on a few pounds too and his abs is gone, he loses his self-esteem and thinks his partner won’t find him attractive anymore.


WHAT YOU CAN DO: if you notice you’re partner’s confidence reduced a bit lately, you should make sure they know how beautiful and sex he or she is to you.

  1. Stress

In most cases, stress is work-related and plays a major role in person’s sex drive mostly in men. Men derive their sex drive from their careers and financial security. For example, you noticed your boyfriend or husband wants sex whenever he finishes a work project successfully, or when everything work-related goes in their favor. Therefore, if he struggles with his career and deals with money issues, he’s stressed and sex might be the last thing on his mind. Women aren’t much different either. It’s because people don’t have on and off switch that would turn highly stressed person into sexual human being in matter of minutes. Additionally, starting a fight because you don’t have sex anymore and accusing partner of not finding you attractive would cause additional stress and aggravate their situation.


WHAT YOU CAN DO: discuss the problem away from bedroom. Maybe talking about the problem at work or any other stressful situation will make them feel more relaxed.

  1. Medications

Many prescription drugs and over-the-counter medications affect person’s libido. That’s why, person who takes medications for depression, high blood pressure, diabetes, alopecia and even birth control pills, often, experience low sex drive. When you are turned down for sex, you think of several different reasons for rejection, and you’d never think medications your partner takes simply affect their sex life.


WHAT YOU CAN DO: if medications are to blame for people sexual then you should suggest visiting a doctor who could recommend switching medicines and prescribing something that won’t affect the person’s libido with this intensity.

  1. Hormonal problems

Women usually turn their partners down for sex when they are going through menopause, or after giving birth mostly because of their hormonal problems. Men aren’t that different (and they say men and women have nothing in common). Low testosterone levels and hormonal imbalances can decrease men’s sexual drive, especially after they turn 40. Testosterone levels can decrease gradually but sometimes it happens rapidly and is known by the name of andropause. Andropause is characterized by loss of energy, depression, and low sex drive.

Hormonal problems

WHAT YOU CAN DO: is to suggest your partner sees his doctor for testosterone test. You should be prepared he’ll find this subject uncomfortable, but he will also realize it’s for his own good. Moreover, if your partner is dealing with erectile dysfunction too, then you should encourage him to talk to a professional or anyone if he finds it difficult to discuss this problem with you.

  1. Boredom and monotony

In the first few months or even years of relationship, couples usually have an exciting sex life. However, this sexual spark tends to diminish and partner faces rejection for sex. However, you should bear in mind this, again, doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t find you sexy or attractive. Reason for loss of interest is in the fact that most couple get into the stage where they don’t experiment, try new things or positions and having sex seems like a coordinated and trained performance. Boredom and monotony don’t let your partner feel the excitement from the start of the relationship anymore. However, don’t get discouraged because almost all relationships come into this stage of monotony.


WHAT YOU CAN DO: spice things up. Bring something new into your bedroom that would make your partner feel excited again. Share sexual fantasies and try to bring them into reality. Try out new position and remember, sex doesn’t always have to be related to bed, you can have it on pretty much all surfaces in your home.


There is a wide range of reasons for being turned down for sex. That’s why, next time it happens before you start a fight with partner and accusing them for not finding you attractive and sex anymore, you should take a few moments to think what could be the real problem. In most cases, low sex drive is always associated with some particular problem, stress or anything else that bothers your partner. Be supportive and patient.


Author Bio

Annie Lizstan works as a health and beauty consultant for online websites and an independent researcher by profession. She had completed her studies from university of Arizona and lives in Wasilla, Alaska. She always likes to explore her ideas about health, fitness, beauty and newest gadgets . She has experience researching as a passion as well as profession.